you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
