dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize