If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
