For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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