Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
