Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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