I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
