Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
