help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
