just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
