I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
there was a trapeze. enough said
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize