Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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