What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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