But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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