Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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