That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
