So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
