the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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