you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize