Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
