I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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