i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Randomize
