ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just found puke in my bra..
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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