it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
