Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
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