You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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