He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize