We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
