They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize