Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize