When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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