btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
