Don't make out with my wife yet
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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