My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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