He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize