I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
