My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
