his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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