whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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