her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
