Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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