i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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