I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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