my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
