well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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