using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
