Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
