i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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