if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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