I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
