Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
the night ended with taco bell and tears
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
