well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
