walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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