So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize