JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
