It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
