yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize