He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
