i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
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