Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
