A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
