We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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