First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
