Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
