3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
