I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
