i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize