Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
