i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
