I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
