You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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