How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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