Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize