you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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