from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
