ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize