Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
