it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
wow bdsm is so cute
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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