Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
