I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
