wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
