And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize